Thursday 30 August 2012

Happy Cry Over Samantha Jones' Terrible Choice Day!

You wake up this morning with Operation: Hide Cat on your mind. The house inspection is for potential buyers of the block of apartments you live in that the wealthy, evil, cat-hating landlord is trying to sell. You spent last night fantasizing about killing said evil landlord with his own shovel but have watched too many CSI episodes to believe that you could destroy all forensic evidence of your involvement. This fantasy will remain just that. For now.

Tuesday 28 August 2012

Review: Tigi Catwalk Session Series Styling Cream

I received a full sized tube of this in the LHI August box (RRP $29.95 for 150ml). I don't use too many hair styling products- occasionally I use my Garnier smoothing serum because it smells nice and I (Shock! Horror!) never use conditioner.

Do You Duck? I Do!

Anyone who has visited my house has asked the question "Why are there so many ducks in here?". Allow me to explain...

Friday 24 August 2012

Top Ten Favourite Words in the English Language

I read. A lot. Or at least I used to. Along my literary travels I have come across several words that have warmed my cockles immensely. I have subsequently incorporated them into my every day language, barely suppressing a gleeful giggle whenever I get to use them. Which isn't as often as I like. I hope you get as much use out of them as I do.

Review: Aurora Spa Clarifying Shampoo and Revitalizing Conditioner

I received 50ml samples of Aurora Spa Rose Otto and Nettle Clarifying Shampoo and Burdock and Rose Revitalizing Conditioner (RRP $40 for 500ml) in this month's Bellabox. There seemed to be some sort of rose-scented theme going on with their "Go Green" box, which is unfortunate because I am not a fan of the flower OR the scent. But I don't like wasting free samples so I decided to try them out...

Review: Avène Rich Compensating Cream


My face is suffering from winter dryness at the moment. I skimmed my bathroom cabinet for a normal moisturiser and realised that although I own a whole bunch of tinted, SPF and night creams I do not own one single normal day moisturiser. Pretty weird for someone obsessed with skincare and makeup, eh? I suppose I could have used my night moisturizer but somehow this feels wrong, like, what if my face falls off if I wear it before the sun sets??

Thursday 23 August 2012

Pilates: Yay or Nay?

A few weeks ago, at the recommendation of my favourite physio in Perth, I started Pilates. I have a chronic shoulder/neck condition and have spent the last 12 years searching far and wide for a cure. I am SUPER awesome at starting things (Tae Kwon Do, running, dancing, tennis, painting- the list goes on); not so good at following through. Usually something else will come up, I'll cancel the appointment with the intention of rescheduling and then accidentally-on-purpose forget to call. This time it was a bout of bronchitis :( Ive never had bronchitis before and it was a physically crippling experience. It started with a simple cough (that kept me up all night) and left me clutching my chest and unable to walk a short distance without making me feel like I was having an asthma attack. This, from the person who has had adult whooping cough, influenza, viral and bacterial conjunctivitis (at the same time!) and a bee allergy that landed me in hospital for three days. So, yeah, it was pretty nasty.

Review: Lust Have It August


Was pleasantly surprised to receive this particular "Luxe and Luscious" box as I was expecting something quite different after having a sneaky peek at other peoples' boxes. So, without further ado... 

Wednesday 15 August 2012

FFS

Item description: Bec and Leni Grey Ankle Boots
Item photo:

Question: Are these boots grey? Do you have any other colours?

What I should have replied: Boots? What boots? These are gloves! And they are so obviously yellow!

I have little patience on the best of days but I'm coughing up lungs here and for some unfathomable reason it seems the landlord has decided today is "Make intolerable noises in the stairwell with a broomstick" Day... so give me a fucking break and use the few brain cells you have remaining to ANSWER YOUR OWN STUPID QUESTION.

Bah, humbug!!

Tuesday 14 August 2012

Здравствуйте! Рада тебя видеть

It has come to my attention that people actually read this blog. I am glad that my angry rants amuse people. But let us take a look at my audience statistics from the past month according to Blogger:



Pageviews

Australia 221
United States 89
Russia 54
Germany 14
United Kingdom 7
China 2
South Korea 1
Malaysia 1
New Zealand 1
Singapore 1

WTF? Russia? At least I know a person or two in Germany (Hi, Pickles!) and the US. I can only assume that these poor Russians are being redirected to this blog by computer viruses or spammy emails. So, in honour of my Eastern European friends, I say Здравствуйте! Рада тебя видеть (Hello! Nice to see you) and recommend the following spyware:

AVG
Malwarebytes

до свидания!

Thursday 9 August 2012

Random eBay Rant

I super excited last week to have purchased a brand new Stella McCartney silk top from eBay for a mere $10. Less thrilled to find it in my mailbox this afternoon in a shitty A4 PAPER ENVELOPE, soaked through to the equally crappy plastic sleeve- you know, those ones you use for school?


Monday 6 August 2012

I Like Stuff. Do You Like Stuff? Let's Like Stuff Together!

I try not to plug my stuff too often because I know how annoying it can be to have someone shamelessly flogging their stuff in your face on social mediums (or is it media? - Me? Speak bad English? That's unpossible!). But I must share this stuff because it is purty and Josh is sick of our tiny apartment being turned into a warehouse. There are about 30 enormous shoe boxes clogging every spare bit of space so if not for ME, do it for HIM. And if you don't know HIM then do it for ME. Or just pass this on to anyone who might like STUFF. Click HERE for even MORE stuff!

Saturday 4 August 2012

Down, Down... Goes My Dignity

So it turns out James Magnussen decided on a fourth career option; Coles commercials!* Why did I not think of this first???

Friday 3 August 2012

Goats To Be Got

So... there are a few things I feel the need to rant about. In no particular order...

Three Things That Get My Goat:

Thursday 2 August 2012

Can You Dance Like Thom Can?



I ♥ Thom Yorke. Sure, I've heard the rumours about him being batshit crazy but if he keeps making music like this then he can drape himself in velvet for all I care. I FINALLY get to see Radiohead in November!! :)

The Big Flop

Any Australian NOT living under a rock would know about the recent hullabaloo about our (and I say it with the same National pride as that when we refer to "OUR Nicole") anti-climatic swimming performance at the Olympics. Most of the bad press surrounds James "Missile" Magnussen, a 21 year old swimmer who failed to win gold in the the 100m freestyle and performed disappointingly in the 100m relay. Australian sports media has to be the most unforgiving (perhaps alongside the Brits) bunch of wankers to grace London 2012. According to most media outlets in Australia, young James was a confident Australian hero... right up until he fudged the two races in which we 100% expected him to win gold. After that he was an arrogant, rude failure who disgraced his country and deserved to lose.

Wednesday 1 August 2012

Happy Hump Day!

Well! After all the kerfuffle about missing boxes, the July LHI magically appeared on my doorstep the other morning. And by "magically appeared" I mean it was handed to me by my very own chain-smoking Asian Postman. He delivers me clothes, shoes and other goodies and in return I model a different pair of duck pyjamas each week. I'm not sure who's getting the better deal here so let's just say it's a mututally beneficial relationship.

I'll probably have to wait until this weekend to post photos (my personal photographer has a day job, too) so will do a detailed rundown then.